Dying to know was slated to happen in the rest of Susanna Carr’s winning Harlequin Presents Writing Competition entry? Here is her synopsis! I think many of you will find it’s set-up (check out the parts in bold) interesting and different. And at the bottom of the post, you can read the editor’s comments about Susanna’s entry, so be sure to click the “read more” link at the bottom! ~Amy

Captured: His Runaway Mistress Synopsis by Susanna Carr

Caught! – She’d embezzled millions from his family and spent a year on the run…

Isabella Williams made a deal with the devil in order to save her little sister from a life-threatening disease. She was labeled an embezzler and spent the last year on the run. Now she’s been caught and Antonio Rossi’s demanding answers that come at a price she can’t afford to pay. But neither can deny the attraction that’s sizzled between them since they first met.

Wanted! – Now he’s found her and he’s determined to hold her hostage… in his bed!

Antonio can’t believe he’s finally tracked down the woman who stole from his family fortune right under his nose. This time he won’t fall for Isabella’s seductive charm or her innocent demeanor. He whisks her away to his villa in the mountains of Lake Como, determined to hold her captive until she gives him everything he wants… in and out of his bed!

Weak and vulnerable, Isabella escapes Antonio’s opulent villa. She knows he won’t cause her physical harm, but he’s still dangerous. They had once been lovers and Antonio can break her heart with ease. Only this time he wants more than her body. He wants revenge. Isabella has to keep her distance and her secrets. She can’t let anything happen to her sister.

Antonio easily recaptures Isabella and thinks that she’s up to her old tricks. She acts angelic, but he knows the truth. No one that innocent would keep trying to escape. He’ll get the answers and his seductive techniques soon lower her defenses.

Just when Isabella believes she could tell Antonio her problems, his cousin Giulia unexpectedly arrives. Giulia is the real embezzler who had offered Isabella money to remain quiet. Isabella had believed Giulia would return the money right away, and she never thought the police would suspect her as the embezzler. Giulia knows it’s only a matter of time before Isabella tells Antonio the truth. Twisting a few facts, Giulia poisons Antonio’s mind against Isabella. Antonio can’t believe he was almost seduced by Isabella’s innocent beauty again!

Isabella, needing to check up on her sister, explains her sibling’s health scare to Antonio. To her surprise, he refuses to believe her claims. Isabella doesn’t know what she ever saw in Antonio. He might be sophisticated and generous in bed, but he’s also as unforgiving and malevolent as his cousin Giulia once claimed. This is exactly why she didn’t go to Antonio for help when she needed it. She had to find a way to get in contact with her sister.

Isabella makes another daring attempt to escape and is inconsolable when Antonio recaptures her. Antonio decides to investigate the sister and discovers that Isabella never trusted him with any personal facts while they were lovers. Why didn’t she ever go to him for help?

Antonio shows Isabella that she can depend on him, and at first she’s suspicious. He treats her like a princess but he still won’t let her leave the villa. Isabella soon realizes that Giulia lied about Antonio’s treatment towards his family. He’s generous and protective of his loved ones. Isabella knows she will never be that special to Antonio, but she can rely on him.

After being together for weeks in the villa, Antonio accepts the fact that Isabella didn’t steal from him. His instincts tell him that she was the scapegoat and that she’s still the innocent woman he fell in love with. When Isabella finds out Antonio’s change of heart, she’s reluctant to tell him the truth. Once he finds out that her silence was bought, he will cast her out of his life.

Ashamed of her actions and her silence, Isabella gathers her courage to reveal the truth. Only the news comes out before Isabella has the chance to confess her part in the embezzlement. Isabella begs for his forgiveness to no avail. Stunned and hurt, Antonio banishes her from the villa and sends her back to America.

Isabella is heartbroken when she returns to her sister’s side. The prognosis is good and her sister is receiving the best care thanks to arrangements made by Antonio. She owes Antonio so much and goes back to him with an offer he can’t refuse: She’ll do anything to pay him back. Anything. But Antonio isn’t interested in her offer. She’s not the innocent he believed, but she’s the kind of woman he wants at his side. Antonio is in love with Isabella and the only way he will take her back is as his wife. Isabella desperately wants to marry him, but doesn’t think she should accept. Fortunately, Antonio knows just how to convince her to say yes.

* * *

First of all, congratulations again to Susanna on your winning entry aimed at Presents/Modern!

This is what we saw in Susanna’s first chapter that really made it stand out:

• What hit us instantly was the heart-wrenching emotion this first chapter delivered.  There was something powerfully poignant in Susanna’s voice that grabbed our attention and captured our hearts.
• Isabella’s quiet desperation was impressively depicted by emotive and haunting language; you could almost feel you own chest tightening as she bent double with her wracking cough and the knowledge that even if she could crawl back into bed, she had only threadbare covers to wrap herself in meant this brave but fragile woman instantly had us on her side!
• We were intrigued by Isabella and Antonio’s shared past – the emotional and sensual connection between them was potent and there is clearly a great deal of conflict for both characters to work through before they can even think about opening up to one another again, and absolutely made us want to read on.
• Their past and Antonio’s vengeful intentions are set up straight away without bogging the pace down with flashbacks. Our hearts were racing as the tension built up and up toward the moment their eyes locked for the first time.
• Overall, what really stood out was Susanna’s raw, emotional, punchy voice – it sparkled with aching emotion, delivered an empathetic heroine and a powerful hero who strode onto the page and took instant control. We were hooked and can’t think of a more deserving heroine to be whisked away from life as a penniless waitress to this Italian billionaire’s magical Lake Como villa!

Lucy is delighted to be working with Susanna on this story. She has already asked to see the next two chapters of Captured: His Runaway Mistress and here is the feedback we sent covering those points that jumped out whilst reading this opening chapter:

• Isabella tries to run away from Antonio twice in this first chapter. We absolutely understand her motivations for wanting to do so(!) but the second time around her actions did start to sound a little repetitive. Our suggestion here would be to condense the two episodes so that she only tries to flee once before collapsing at Antonio’s feet.
• Additionally, we weren’t 100% convinced by Isabella’s attempt to throw Antonio off the scent by pretending he’d got the wrong person – surely she can’t think a man who has known her so intimately would ever fall for such a story? And the bottom has just completely fallen out of her world… It would be better here just to jump straight into the gut-wrenching emotion she’s feeling at that moment rather than diluting the tension with a page or so of pretence.
• There are quite a few references to their past together; some were great, and really important, such as getting a peek into Antonio’s mind to see just why he despised her so acutely. But some emphasised the specifics a little too much – references to handing her over to the police gives the chapter more of an intrigue edge making you focus more on what is it that she’s done? rather than the developing romance and how will she ever convince him to love her again?
• Looking ahead to the rest of the story, from reading her synopsis we would suggest that Susanna keeps a close eye on the embezzlement thread of the story. Of course we want to see Isabella’s name cleared, but we very much need to keep the focus away from who stole Antonio’s money and why and instead concentrate on how Antonio and Isabella can find their way back to one another.