Annie West’s Checklist for Marriage
32 Comments December 1st, 2009 in books, marriage of convenience Posted by Amyby Anne West, author of Blackmailed Bride, Inexperienced Wife (Harlequin Presents Extra, December 2009)
When I began writing BLACKMAILED BRIDE, INEXPERIENCED WIFE I started with a wedding. I had a heroine going to meet her groom with a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. She didn’t want to marry but she felt this was something in which she had no choice. She arrives ready to marry a man she doesn’t love but whom she’s willing to trust, only to find she doesn’t know the half of it. The bridegroom waiting for her isn’t the one she’d expected!
Because I’m an author and I love to make life difficult for my hero and heroine, I made the man waiting for Alissa the one man in the world she absolutely, categorically never wanted to see, let alone marry. As for Dario, his icy control hides a blood hot passion that rises whenever he thinks about how he’s been forced into marrying the woman who epitomises everything he detests.
As a Presents reader I adore finding out how the hero and heroine will overcome their problems and find true love. As a Presents author I love putting them in the worst possible situations, even if I don’t initially know how they’ll get out of them!
I began Alissa and Dario’s story on instinct, exploring emotions and then filling in the detail. As I went I began to think of the sort of checklist a couple might tick if they were considering marriage:
Love. Absolutely. Isn’t that what we believe in and want for ourselves? Sadly for Alissa and Dario, love isn’t on the agenda in their marriage of inconvenience. Or so they think initially.
Trust. Imagine living so intimately with someone you don’t trust! This is your partner, the one with whom you want to share your hopes, dreams and fears. Yet distrust is the key to Dario and Alissa’s relationship in the beginning.
Shared sense of humour. Laughter can definitely bring people together. Don’t you love a man who can bring a smile to your face and laugh at himself occasionally? Unfortunately for Alissa and Dario the stakes are too high in the beginning for laughter. This is life and death serious.
Getting on with the family. They say it’s good to see your prospective spouse’s family to get an idea of who influenced them growing up (and maybe a hint of what they’ll look like in old age). It’s a good sign if you bond with the family. For Dario and Alissa, this is at the heart of their prejudice. Dario knew Alissa’s grandfather and the old man is the sort to give any family a bad name. But whereas Dario thinks Alissa takes after her grandad, she thinks she sees too much of the old man in Dario’s ruthless actions.
Common interests and goals. Something to keep a couple interested long term. Ah, here at last we have some commonality. Both Alissa and Dario are after the same thing, though they don’t initially know it. Both need the inheritance that will come from their marriage, but ultimately what both are seeking is to do the right thing by the ones they love. They’ll sacrifice themselves to achieve that.
Physical attraction. What a nice part of the checklist this one is! And, for Dario and Alissa, this is one thing that’s there from the start. Even while they’re rueing the need to marry, they’re undermined by the physical attraction that’s zapped between them from the start.
Fortunately for this pair, their inconvenient marriage keeps them together long enough for each to learn there’s a lot more to their partner than they first thought. Despite their inauspicious start, marriage reveals that there’s much to appreciate, respect and even love in their spouse. That journey takes a while and isn’t smooth sailing, but it’s worth it.
Now I’m wondering what other qualities should be added to my impromptu checklist. Which are the most important? What about love at first sight and how does that fit with knowing you’re committing to a viable relationship? What attracted you to your partner? What do you look for in a prospective partner? Did you consider carefully or did you just jump in, trusting you were doing the right thing?
Tagged with: Annie West author • Blackmailed Bride Inexperienced Wife • marriage of convenience romance novels
32 Responses to “Annie West’s Checklist for Marriage”
- 1 Pingback on Dec 1st, 2009 at 11:01 am
Wow, sounds like a fabulous book Annie- you never disappoint!
I love marriage of convenience stories, and I don’t remember reading one that actually began with the marriage before.
I didn’t used to believe in love at first sight. Lust in first sight, yes, absolutely! I still feel that real love is something that needs to grow over time. Real love is a product of the working at the relationship and the growing together that can only happen over time.
I do believe it’s possible to have some sort of instinctive recognition that this is “the one”, I’m just not sure I’d call that love. But I’ve heard too many true stories of people who knew immediately on meeting that this was the person they would marry, and have followed that up with successful lasting relationships, to doubt that it can happen.
At the time I only told friends I’d “met the most interesting man”, but I had an awareness that this was the man I was meant to spend the rest of my life with very soon after meeting my husband to be.
So love at first sight- for sure. But it has to prove itself to be love, through words and actions and committment through the months and years to follow.
Oh my, Annie. I read the first chapter, and just had to buy the ebook so I can start reading straight away!
Annie – I was lucky enough to read this in lovely hardback and loved it to pieces. Alissa is such a noble and strong heroine and the sparks between her and Dario are positively nuclear..! I think you’ve covered all the basics in your check list…and certainly sense of humour would be important for me, and compassion.
I’m very jealous of everyone getting to read this for the first time!
x Abby
Hi Mulberry,
You raise such good points. The whole love at first sight idea intrigued me after I came up with my list. How did the two fit together? As a romance reader for years I adored the idea of falling in love at a glance, and as a writer I’ve used the notion of that ‘instinctive recognition’ you mention. Yet still I wondered if the two could mesh. But like you, I’ve come across so many instances of people who were certain of their future partner after one meeting! I’m sure though that what they feel strengthens over time as they discover more about each other and the ways they can complement each other.
I’m so glad you enjoyed the opening of Alissa and Dario’s story so much! When I wrote it I had trouble keeping up with that pair as they kept forging ahead with their story. Hope you have a ball with the rest of it.
Oh Abby, aren’t you lovely? Thank you. And thanks too for raising compassion as a factor in a successful relationship. I definitely want that in a partner, and I have to say I wouldn’t be without my husband’s dry humour for anything.
Mulberry, I adored Dario Alissa story, the intensity, his secrets, all of it!
As for love at first sight….that’s how it was for me from the very first moment I set eyes on Ron. In fact, when a friend gave me a ride home from work that day, I told her I was going to marry this incredible man I met today and I did so eleven months later and even had the fairy tale wedding! xx
Marilyn, how gorgeous about you and your Ron! It gives me goosebumps thinking of that instant reaction.
It’s great to hear you liked Alissa and Dario’s story so much too. Thanks for sharing!
Annie, I adored this book – the chemistry is so hot and Dario is just gorgeous. I love your checklist for marriage – I’d probably have to add the ability to remove Very Large Spiders as an additional quality.
Sarah
x
Hi Sarah, I’m thrilled you enjoyed this story, and the checklist. It was rather sad for Dario and Alissa that to start with at least they scored so badly on the checklist. But by the end they were doing much better!
I’m sure Dario could deal with Very Large Spiders! Actually, now you mention that, I’ve realised the ability to deal with minor plumbing matters wouldn’t go astray either.
Wow, Annie, what a great post! And it’s so true! As you know, BLACKMAILED BRIDE, INEXPERIENCED WIFE is one of my favourites of yours. So much passion and emotion and Dario is tssssss hot! And as you know, there’s one scene where you had me crying, you dreadful girl. I think you just get better and better.
Hey, congratulations on THE DESERT KING’S PREGNANT BRIDE making Barnes and Noble’s list of the best of 2009. Well deserved. That was a fabulous story and here’s another one! Yay, you!
Hi Anna, you’ve got me laughing at the idea of Dario being tssssss hot! What a great description. One of the things I loved about writing him was that for all he tried to be cool, calm and in control, he was such a deeply passionate man underneath it all. Rather like a powder keg waiting for a match. Wish I could say sorry I made you cry, but I take that as a compliment. Thank you.
Thanks too for the congratulations on Maggie and Khalid’s story. Making that listing was a gorgeous surprise and I’ve had so many lovely emails from people about it.
Annie, I’ve just read your description of your book and I can’t wait to read it! Romance, passion, a couple made for each other… who just don’t know it yet!
Sounds perfect.
Sandra
Annie, I just love the premise of your book. It’s got so much wow factor. I can’t wait to read it. I am sure it’s going to be another huge bestseller for you.
As for me, I fell in love on second sight. My husband on first but when I was too young to do anything about it! There is seven years between us so he had to wait until I grew up a bit. But hey, I still haven’t grown up!
Cheers,
Melanie
Hi Sandra, I’m so glad you like the sound of this one. I do think developing this premise proved my evil-writer side as poor Alissa and Dario had such a rough time to start with. They just couldn’t see they’d done the right thing in marrying! Better, I’m sure than starting off believing it was the best decision of your life, then regretting it!
Melanie, I love your reference to falling in love ‘at second sight’! Obviously he’s a man of patience and insight. How lovely. My husband is 6 years older than me and he was a little worried at how young I was when we met, but it’s worked out well. Thank goodness he was mature enough to know what he was doing. I simly fell for him like a ton of bricks and was so lucky I fell for the right man.
Your checklist is spot on, Annie. As for love at first sight – I took one look at the computer geek I’d drawn in a blind date (that I’d been dreading!) and knew he was The One. We were married a few months later, and that was twenty-seven years ago. It seems like yesterday…
Wow, Christina. That’s impressive. Obviously your blind date showed true hero potential. It seems unusual these days to marry after just a couple of months. It’s great to hear it’s worked out so well.
Annie, I loved the start of BLACKMAILED BRIDE, INEXPERIENCED WIFE. If I recall, it was raining which gave it more poignancy.
I’m a firm believer in love at first sight in real life as well as romance novels. I fell in love with my husband the moment I met him, within three days we decided we wanted to spend our lives together, we were married less than a year later and twenty one years later we are still very happy. It works!
Hi Kandy. It’s amazing – all these people who’ve found love at first sight! What a moment that must have been when you met the first time.
I’m so glad you enjoyed the opening of BLACKMAILED BRIDE, INEXPERIENCED WIFE. Yes, it was raining and poor Alissa had to face the man she least wanted to confront while her hair dripped icy water down her neck. What is it about giving heroines a hard time that so appeals?
Annie
Annie – I don’t have any brilliant ideas to add to your wonderful ‘marriage checklist’ – I’ve just discovered that somene arranged Christmas for Decemeber 25th and didn’t tell me! So I’m rushing arund like a mad thing.
But i will say that I read Blackmailed Bride Inexperienced Wife when it came out in the UK and like so many – all – your books I loved it. I’m so looking forward to the next one – Forgotten Mistress, Secret Love-Child, the them of it just makes me want to grab it and retreat to a quite corner and read. I’m going to use it as one of my New Year treats.
As for love at first sight – my husband met me at university in Wales in November, in December he went home and told his parents he’d met the woman he was going to marry – er – he didn;t tell me for another 3 months! But he says he knew at first sight. Me? Well, I knew he was something special!
Kate (who loves her word verifications – Winifred Whizz!)
Kate, I’m suffering that rush to Christmas too. Of course I’m trying to be calm about it as I’m supposed to be finishing a book before then, plus organising a short trip away and somehow finish all the preparations for the holidays. Should be interesting!
How lovely that you’ve already read Alissa and Dario’s story and enjoyed it. Hope you like the Forgotten Mistress just as much. I have to say, after writing those two Italian stories I’d fallen in love with the romance of the place all over again.
Gee, I bet your prospective parents in law were agog to meet you after your husband to be broke his news! Don’t you love determined men? Men who are single-minded about getting the woman they adore? Sigh.
Annie,
This looks like another book I must add immediately to my to-be-read pile! (And here’s hoping that pile does not rise up and take over the house any time soon, as I’m half afraid it might.)
I knew the moment I met my husband that he was going to be A Problem for me, and so he was. I had no intention of ever getting married to anyone. That… didn’t work out so well for me. Luckily, he did.
Caitlin
Hi Caitlin,
Commisserations on the TBR pile! But we wouldn’t be without them, would we? I hope you enjoy Dario and Alissa’s story when you get to it.
You sound just like a Presents heroine, saying that you knew your husband to be was going to be A Problem for you! Sounds like a terrific start to a relationship!
I’m right in the middle of reading Blackmailed Bride, Inexperienced Wife, and enjoying every single word of it. In fact, it’s amazing that I’ve managed to tear myself away to comment here…but I just had to let you know how much I love the story so far.
I’m a total believer in love at first sight. Though it takes time and patience to build something really exciting from that first initial lightning strike, but if the lightning of love-at-first-sight strikes it should definitely be explored. And one quality I’d like to add to your list is honesty. It goes hand in hand with trust, and I think it even precedes it. Because to gain someone’s trust you first have to deal honestly with them. It’s why I love reading HM&B, and especially Presents. Because no matter how much of a mean bad boy the hero is or has been, it’s his eventual honest dealing with the heroine that wins her over, before long a grain of trust is established which enables her to fall in love.
Oh Merri, absolutely. Honesty has to be in the list! I agree with you about our heroes being honest with the heroine. By the end of the book we and his heroine are in absolutely no doubt about how he feels. In fact, in Presents stories, a hero’s honesty can be a bit of a stumbling block at first and used to great effect.
Hm, I’m beginning to wonder if there have been any scientific studies on what goes into that sensation of love at first sight. They say we should learn to trust our instincts more. Perhaps that ‘lightning strike’ is a case in point.
I’m absolutely thrilled that you’re enjoying ‘Blackmailed Bride, Inexperienced Wife’ so much! Thanks for sharing. I want to sit and natter and ask if you’ve read this bit or that, (I have my fave scenes) but better not. Hope you enjoy the rest of it and get a huge sigh of satisfaction at the end.
Annie,
Great checklist. I have always felt that a lasting relationship consists of love, trust, respect, loyalty and fidelity.
I have to go out an buy your book and add to my TBR pile. You need to know that I don’t read the books in order of publication. i got through my TBR pile and pick and choose the book I want to read next. An additional caveat is that sometimes I’ll pick up an “oldie” and re-read it before tackling my TBRs.
And yes, all of us are scrambling during this holiday season — it always manages to creep up on us! I hope that you have a fabulous holiday season!
Hi Lidia, it’s nice to see you. I’m glad you mentioned fidelity. I suppose that ties in with trust. When I imagine my heroes they’re always loyal to the ones they love. I think that’s a fabulous trait. Helps a marriage too (G)!
I hope you enjoy BLACKMAILED BRIDE when you read it. I’m a little like you with my tbr pile. I tend to pick the sort of story I’m in the mood for and I’ve got so many to choose from that’s no problem.
Thanks for the holiday wishes. I hope you and yours have a fabulous time too.
Hi Annie,
Wow, timely post. I’m attending a wedding this weekend — my 75 year old neighbour is marrying her 72 year old toy boy (her words). The wedding is shaping up to be HUGE fun. I guess the message there is that we’re never too old for love and romance!
Oh, and call me shallow, but right up there on my list with sense of humour and trust is a great smile… and long dark eyelashes don’t hurt either
Thanks for the great post!
Hi Michelle,
Have a great time at the wedding. That sounds really sweet and romantic. Hope the weather’s fine for the grand occasion. I’ve decided it’s been far too long since I went to a wedding.
Wanting a great smile isn’t shallow, is it? I hope not. I’ve always had ‘great shoulders’ on my wish list.
My husband met when we worked together at a coffee house and we immediately became good friends. Of course, I was too young to think of him romantically (nearly eight years younger) and he was in love with my best friend’s older sister. (Complicated!)
Don’t know quite how it changed from best friends to more than friends, well, I turned eighteen which helped, and there was the involvement of this other girl whose eyes I suddenly found myself wanting to scratch out, but eventually our friendship changed to something more. A year after we started dating we got married and now, nearly five years and (almost) three kids later, he’s still my best friend and the most wonderful husband a woman could ask for. How’s that for gushing?
LOL, Michelle, the great smile is what gets us interested enough to find out if he has all the other stuff on the list!
I want a report back on that wedding too- sounds fab! One of the sub-plots I wish I could include in my WiP (word count and tight focus mean no room for it!) is a new love for my heroine’s 79 year old widow friend.