Contest Update: Feedback from the Editors
45 Comments November 20th, 2009 in editor, writing, writing contest Posted by Amy
The Harlequin Presents Writing Competition 2009 winner announcement is only weeks away, but we know many of you have been eager for any kind of feedback! Thought the editors are unable to give personal feedback for all the entries (there were over 500 of them, remember 
) they wanted to share some of what they saw in the judging process…
by editor Joanne Grant and Executive Editor Tessa Shapcott
We want to help you catch our eye!
With all the entries now read and a pile of potential winners to sift through, we know how anxious many of you are, so we decided to give you some food for thought to distract you and to help you develop your writing further.
Of course, we understand that you’ll want to know the reasons why your chapter didn’t make it into our shortlist. Unfortunately we can’t reply to every entrant personally, but if you don’t receive specific feedback about your submission from us, it will probably be because you committed one of the…
Secret Seven Sins!
• Not enough dialogue – did you include too much introspection and rely on the telling of back story rather than using character action and dialogue which can be a more dynamic way of drawing the reader in?
• Dire dialogue – we have to be honest: quite often we came across dialogue that was stilted and unrealistic. But we did note something interesting…the problem dialogue was mainly between the hero and heroine! When these characters interacted with their friends, family etc the conversation seemed more natural. The heroes were the main offenders – their speech was sometimes a little wooden and unbelievable.
• Well-worn plots and characters – this is something we have talked about a lot over the last twelve months, but we are still seeing many submissions that lack originality and this is probably the most common seen ‘sin’. Did you rely on clichés? What we look for are new contemporary, twists on classic plots which are propelled forward by well-motivated and compelling characters.
• Random meetings, meandering action – we did read a number of chapters where the hero and heroine met in a random situation, which was probably too much of a coincidence, and then…nothing really happened! The first chapter needs to make a reader want to read on!
• Inappropriate first kisses – well, this might have been fun, but…the hero and heroine don’t have to kiss in the first chapter. If you can’t resist including a locking of lips and they do, make sure it is believable for your characters. Think about their conflicts and motivations and ask yourself: would your heroine allow a stranger or a man she thinks she hates, to kiss her within minutes of meeting?
• Sexual premises – we did receive a number of chapters, usually aimed at Modern Heat, which had purely sexual set-ups but which lacked an emotional underpinning. Modern Heat is a sexy series, but the story still needs to be driven by believable emotional conflicts. 
• Unattractive heroes – getting irrationally cross, speaking to everyone like they are dirt and generally acting in an aggressive way. You know that if you met this guy in real life, you’d punch him on the nose, and in a fantasy romance these qualities don’t make him an alpha male either! 
But you have the chance to repent your sin(s)! If you think you are guilty of one or more of them, what can you do? Well, we have blogged many writing tips here on iheartpresents over the last couple of years; do check our archives. And you can take a look at the writing guidelines and extra tips on www.eharlequin.com and you should, of course, read as many current books from the series as possible.
When you have done all of your research, and you sit down to write, don’t try to be anyone but yourself: write with passion, originality and honesty. Write a story with characters and conflicts that you as a Presents fan would love to read and forgive us for ending on a cliché – but also, write from the heart!
Tagged with: editor Joanne Grant • editor writing tips • executive editor Tessa Shapcott • Harlequin Presents Writing Competition 200945 Responses to “Contest Update: Feedback from the Editors”
- 1 Pingback on Nov 20th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
- 2 Pingback on Nov 21st, 2009 at 9:53 am
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Wow. What great feedback! Thank you both for taking the time to post it!These are great things for all of us to keep in mind with our writing, a nice little check list of the Seven Deadly Sins.
I know I’ll be conscious of it as I sit to write today!
Best of luck to all the contest entrants!!
Maisey
I know it’s a lot of hard work for you editors, Joanne, but I can’t think of anything more fun than sitting with my friends, reading romance chapters (with all those wonderful alpha heroes), and eating chocolate. I hope you found some fantastic entries on your short list!
Thanks for the post Joanne. I’m sure I’m guilty of at least one of those sins if not more. When you see them listed out in print it’s easy to spot your mistakes.
Once again thanks to all of you at HM@B for running the comp.
Chris.
So, the Seven Secret Sins…hmmm…*rushes off to re-read contest chapter to see if I’m guilty*
This was a great list. I’ll have to copy ‘n’ paste this one to my files for future reference. Unfortunately re-reading my chapter won’t correct any mistakes I’ve made, but having this list will be a help for all future projects and contests.
Thank you for all the great lessons/info and the opportunity to compete.
Yikes! I think I’m guilty of at least 5 of these sins! But thanks for the great feedback. As Merri says I’m going to cut and paste it for future reference. Take care. Caroline x
Fab article, thanks Joane and Tessa!
Um, think I’m guilty of at least three. Thank goodness I resisted the temptation to have him kiss her!
Wow! Great tips!
Like everyone else, I automatically went back and reread my chapter. Still have my fingers crossed and thinking positive, but…?
Thanks Joanne and Tessa for taking the time to point out the error(s) of our ways! LOL This has been the absolute best learning experience! I really appreciate HQ and M&B for putting on this contest. It’s been awesome!
Invaluable info…
Thank you Joanne and Tessa. My fingers are also crossed very tightly.
The Seven Deadly Sins of writing, that should be printed and taped to all of our computers. I just re-read my entry to see if I made any of those mistakes and I couldn’t see any, but who am I to judge!!! I just hope all my accidental typos that I didn’t catch until now don’t ruin my chances. *keeping fingers crossed*
These are great sins to remember – and I’m certainly guilty of at least one! I recalled my characters exchanging an abundance of dialogue, but when I read through it, they hardly speak at all! Whoops! Great to have these tips to refer to for future manuscripts.
Thanks Joanne and Tessa,
Madeline
some more things to add to my personal checklist. My thoughts are with everyone who entered and is waiting nervously. Madeline, dialogue is one of your greatest strengths so I’m certain what you did include will be fab!
Oh no! Reading through the list has made me realise just how much of a sinner I am. Still really useful info for next time though. Thanks for sharing.
I think I’m guilty of the kiss sin. (and whatever else I find when I double check my entry) Oh my… *sighs* but I did think the kiss was justified. Oh well not long to go now.
Thank you Jo-anne and Tessa for the seven deadly sins and taking the time to update. It must be a enormous job to tackle so many manuscripts within such little time.
Suzanne
Thank you Robyn! How wonderful to run into here
Despite your encouraging words, my dialogue really did lose its flow in this chapter. I’m sure I’ll be reworking it in ROT next year, and will benefit greatly from your sharp observations and gentle critiques! I hope your new story is coming along smoothly. I can’t wait to read it when you’re back!
Good luck to everyone who managed to write without committing any sins in this comp! My fingers are crossed for you
Madeline
Joanne, this is such a great post, I know this information will be greedily sucked up by us writers trying to perfect our work! I have a question for you. I’ve been reading about Carina Press, the new digital imprint, and wondered if there is any cross company communication between yourselves and them. If, for example, one of the comp entries didn’t fit well as a modern/modern heat but might make an excellent book in another Harlequin line, would you suggest that? or send it over? or if it might fit Carina Press would you do that?
Just hoping for ’second chances’ for any of those great 500+ entries!
Many thanks, Sally
Oh I love it when the editors put out lists like this. Such great tips and definitely the kind of tool I refer to often. It’s easy to get swept up in the story I’m putting together, and having a quick check — did I use dialogue effectively? Is this believable? Is that kiss going to get me in trouble? etc…– catches a lot of little things I might not have thought about without the prompt.
As I’m working away this morning, I’m totally looking at this list and asking myself a few pointed questions for book two!
Mira
Oh oh! No 1 tick. No 3 tick. Hi to the editors and judges and thanks a lot for this post. It’s a great help to keep us on track. My Grandmother was a great believer in dusting yourself off and starting all over again. This is a very handy feather duster.LOL.
Really looking forward to reading all about the comp results.
Waves to Sally and every best wish to all who entered.
Slán,
Mena
Dag Nab It!
I, too, am a sinner! I shall repent and change my ways thanks to the listed commandments!! Lol!
I realize now, after rereading the chapter I submitted, that there was very little dialogue and too much back story! Argh! LOL… And worse, my hero and heroine had not even met by the end of the first chapter! I am most positive mine was pushed aside immediately!
hmmmmm Got a lot of learnin’ to do!
Thanks for all the tidbits of info and good luck to all those who succeeded in presenting a sin-free chapter! My heart pounds with excitement for the winners!!!
Sincerely,
Lolo
I read this twice so far. Not sure how many of these I am guilty of totally, and like most sins, if I didn’t commit it, I sure thought of doing so, especially the one about stilted conversation. This can get me everytime. I agonize over what these people would actually say in every situation, but still not sure and sometimes they seem to have a mind of their own.
Thanks for input. Will work to do better and I will copy these down and put them on my wall near my computer desk.
thank you for sharing.
I’m curious. So, shoot me!
If the above list is any indication of our lack of writing prowess, how many entries are there left to sort through?
Taking into account the Seven Secret Sins, the original 544 must be at least pared down to half that by now, if not more. Anyone in the know?
Good question Lorraine! (Hi Lorraine, Hi Mena!)
And one I’d love to know the answer to as well!
Thanks for the feedback! As I read over my chapter again, I realize I could have beefed up the dialogue between the main characters and added a tad more description of their surroundings.
Sometimes you live with a story inside your head for so long you forget that you need to draw the pictures with words for everyone else to see!
Hi Amy, (if you are around)
Are the winners notified before the public announcement? If so how long before?
Thank you,
Suzanne
Wow, these are excellent tips, although I couldn’t help but think of my own sins in my submitted chapter
I hope there’ll be a 2010 competition, so we can do better and carefully avoid all those sins…
Counting down to the announcement of winners has gotten me on edge, so I try not to think about it. But here I am, checking the blog daily for updates!
Good luck to everyone, and I had lots of fun just entering the competition!
Cat, no need to wait for another competition, though they are fab fun and great motivation!
You can submit a partial of a story (three chapters and the synopsis) to Harlequin or Mills and Boon any time. There’s information on either the Millls and Boon site or eHarlequin for aspiring writers that tells you all about how to submit to the series you are aiming to write for.
Oops, that should be Mills and Boon, obviously!
The links to the sites are on the right hand side of the page.
Hi Suzanne,
Yes, all the winners get called by the editors before the announcement. Not sure exactly how long, though, maybe one of the past winners has a general idea?
~Amy
Thank you Amy,
Perhaps they may come on here, otherwise I will track them down. lol
Hey Suzanne (and Amy)
I was a runner-up in the last contest (as Rachael Blair) and I got an email the morning the contest was announced on the blog. I was certain I hadn’t finalled but was obviously stoked when I opened my email that morning! Can still FEEL the excitement!!
Rach!
Thank you for taking time out to answer Rach.
I woke up this morning and checked out this site.
As one of the persons who entered the contest I am still on edge. But I didn’t think it would be like a kid waiting for Christmas to come around so I could open my presents.
I am tense and excited as well. And hopeful.
I just want to learn to do better, so that’s why I was glad to read over the dreaded sin list today.
thanks.
I entered the contest also. Looking back on my chapter, I don’t believe that I had enough dialogue either. I had too much introspection and backstory, and I also had a first kiss, and a little more, although, I think that sometimes it just fits into what is being played out between H/H, I don’t know. Based on those two things, I probably didn’t make the short list. Oh well, maybe they will have the contest next year, and I’ll do better.
waiting for the results….
When and where is the announcement to be made?? The suspense is killing me!
The winners have been chosen according to Amy and the announcement will be posted on this board on Dec 11th. I don’t know if the winners have been notified yet but I’m assuming that they have been by now though I could be wrong.
Chris.
Have the winners been notified? Can we just have another morsel of information, please?
Dying with curiosity.
commision’s berkley
Yay, read the mistakes and wiped my brow in relief. Okay, not really, but mentally. But did catch a few typos. Grrrr. Isn’t it annoying that you can read and reread something (and have other people read it) and still miss stuff?!
Best of luck to everyone.
I guess all the winners have been notified now. Boo Hoo, not me. Oh well. It was a very nervous experience. Gee I think I wore my email password out. lol I’m dying to read the entries to see what appeals. Also the feedback is somthing I’m looking forward to.
All the best ladies,
Suzanne
ok guilty as charged >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>:)
Back to the keyboard and to original thinking…or is that sin? I’m not sure… but never say never. I look forward to reading the winning (4) chapters to contrast and compare.
Yet we see all this still published within the Presents line.