The bad news? This is now a sad moment. Over the last few weeks I’ve got so attached to this blog but now, alas, I must leave it. It’s been so much like the Presents we all love – tension and tragedy and, hopefully, a touch of humour here and there.

But now, as for all of the H’s and H’s, it’s time to move on, to follow our hearts and our dreams. Hopefully, for everyone, the final destination will make the whole journey worthwhile.

The best of the best to all of you out there. Hold that dream. Never relinquish it.

Over and out,

Jilly

And Aideen, to enlighten you on the IT staffing position, I DID have one once (not in the biblical sense, I hasten to add). In fact, I’ve had several, but they each only lasted a week. Apparently, I exhausted them of all their expertise to find at the end of it I was still a lost cause. I know you’ll find that hard to believe, but that’s what they said as they ran out the door, holding their dongles and screaming hysterically.

But now I must do what a Jilly has to do. Fully recovered from my near-death-by-E-mail experience – and in the absence of further instructions from America – I am about to step out unaided into cyberspace to try once again to connect to the Sisterhood. Forget Sydney Carton and his trip to the guillotine, this is an act of selfless courage that will pass into legend in the field of human endeavour – even if I do say so myself.

So gird your loins (whatever that means) fellow-sisters, and send up a prayer for the safe return of your brave and unwavering shrinking violet. And if I should fail, I have one last request, simple and heartfelt and staggeringly-green. Remember me in a few fond words of dedication when your first bestseller is heading for the press. And if one of you could contact Andreos at the mansion. The key for the handcuffs is in the tool-shed, next to the blindfolds. I found it last night when I was looking for the grinder.

Au revoir, I hope, not adieu,

Jilly

And to answer the IT question, I have a brother who works in that business. Now he’s a nice looking young man but he’s the exception to the rule. If I were Jilly I wouldn’t have one either. But then, I’ve only got the one man. Not that I’m complaining. One gorgeous African-American/Italian is all this woman can handle! However if his skill-set consisted only of some vague ritual involving pork scratchings and alcohol I might need a whole crew too….

Maisey

In all fairness, cop on. You have a medic on board, a masseuse, a security watchman and many more I imagine to fill that masochist mansion but where in the hell is your IT man??

Require one poste haste because we’re all partying like crazy over in the google group. Honestly, we really are. We were gonna wait for you but there’s only so much procrastinating a girl can do. We have the red carpet out and awaiting you is a Magnum of Dom Perignon, we don’t do the cheap stuff over there.

Up your prozac if you must but figure out a way to get to us cos the group just isn’t complete without the original shrinking violet. You can even wear four hats and smoke your pipe AND cigar simultaneously.

Aideen.

Madeline, I don’t have any right at all to do this at all, as previously mentioned being an interloper myself, but I second Jilly’s comment. Click on Barbara’s name on any of her posts, and then send her an email.

But if you are invited to join, be prepared to bare your synopsis, your soul, and the secrets of your boudoir to the Sisterhood of the Blended Orgasm. Membership may cost you your sanity, plus any spare time you thought you had- but it will give you a good giggle, inspiring critiques, and a chance to see some brilliant writing (I’m already practicing the “Well of course, I knew her BEFORE she was published” speeches, for future RNA and RWA conferences).

‘There are reports tonight that the owner of this mysterious and somewhat disreputable abode – who has, sources say, been seen in the village in recent days looking oddly green, wearing two hats and adorned with what appeared to be various components of a food-mixer – has been rescued by her faithful Slovakian chocolatier when he discovered her drowning in a sea of E-mails which had inexplicably started spewing out from her printer. Her recently-appointed medical advisor has assured us all is now well. After applying his imaginitive resuscitation technique on three separate and lengthy occasions, his grateful employer has promoted him to Chief Blender and is now lying down in the recovery-position.’

And Barbara, it’s all thanks to you. Either you ARE really pulling my plonker or your attempt to ‘add’ me didn’t quite work. Twenty-eight – yes, you heard me, TWENTY-EIGHT – E-mails have flooded my in-box, each consisting of two or three pages. Bits of comments from each of the sisters on chapters I’ve not even seen yet. In duplicate. In triplicate. You name it, I’ve got it. Oh God, I can’t bear it. Am I destined to be apart from the Sisterhood forever, deprived of all that hot lusty writing? Please Barbara, DO something. I’m down on my knees here (well, to be honest, I already was but that, as they say, is another story).

And guys, I can’t tell you how good it is to hear you. And rest assured, I’ll be with you as soon as I can. Your luck can’t last forever, you know.

And Madeline, not part of the group? Get a grip there, girl. I’m sure I’m speaking for all of the sisters when I say that EVERYONE’s welcome here! As Technical Director, it’s Barbara you need to crawl – sorry, speak to but I’m sure she’d be happy to ‘add’ you as well (I just hope you have more luck than I’M having). A word of advice. Don’t mention the Slovakians. If you’ve faithfully been following this blog, you’ll know already it’s a touchy subject.

Sorry guys, gotta go. I’m under medical supervision here and it’s time for a change of position. This guy is heavier than he looks ….

Jilly

it’s great to know that people (other than just myself) have been amused. I met everyone here on this thread. We’re all from different corners of the world, which is always interesting.

Thanks for your best wishes! All the support on this sight means a lot. And I wish you the best of luck as well!

Maisey

I know I’m not a part of your group, but I have to say, that each time I visit I Heart Presents, I see that this thread has been written on, and can’t resist checking. I’m endlessly amused by your banter, though you all seem to know each other beyond this site, so I’m sure I’m only catching on to half of it!

I just wanted to say all the best with your writing: you all have personalities that spread to the page, and I have no doubt you will all succeed at publication. If your heroine’s are half as vibrant as your conversations, there’s no doubt. I just hope to be as lucky as you.

All the best!
Madeline

Now I want to have your babies too Jane!!!

And Jilly, you’re also missing out on Jane’s ruthless take on blackmail, deliciously carried out by 6 feet 3 inches of a thoroughbred Italian Stallion.

Aideen.

But please please get the email thingy sorted- you are missing out on Aideen’s laugh out loud hot hot hot chick lit chapter, Barbara’s sizzling lift scene in the corridors of power, Maisey’s OMG he’s gorgeous but he’s a mean bastard Italian/ African American Presents hero… and we are missing you.