by Trish Wylie, author of Her Bedroom Surrender
My name is Trish Wylie and I’m an –
Ooops wrong place…Let’s start again. Hello from a rather rain soaked Emerald Isle! So Modern Heat’s Irish girl is here to talk to you about dialogue. There’s probably a good reason for that. We Irish have been known to talk from time to time. Though obviously if you’ve met me in person you’ll know how shy and retiring I am…
I LOVE writing for this line. Seriously! The very fact I can write a book in anything from three to eight weeks is testimony to that I think and a big part of that ‘fit’ is the dialogue.
Now you’d think that dialogue would be one of the easiest things in the world but some people find it tough, despite the fact we all use it every single day of our lives. We use dialogue from first thing in the morning to kick the kids out of bed for school (in my house that mostly involved my mother yelling at us from the foot of the stairs at ten minute intervals until someone eventually appeared). We talk over the breakfast table (or of you’re a teenager you mumble and grunt in the general direction of the cereal box and the grown ups are supposed to translate). There’s chatting on the phone, gossiping with the girls over coffee, getting the latest about So-And-So and the hot new guy she met (with appropriate gasps and ‘lucky girl!’ type phrases).
But what does it mean in a Modern Heat?
Well as I’m sure you all probably know by now the books are fun, sassy, sexy, contemporary reads. The dialogue will reflect this and will move your story forwards with the same flow as any conversation you might engage in or overhear in real life. Except of course when your characters are hurt, or arguing, or… well you get what I’m saying here, right? Dialogue is the cornerstone of any story told in any medium. Inner POV, physical movement, plot, descriptions that key into the five senses; they’re all layers around the dialogue. And the real test with dialogue is if you remove all those other elements and still have a clear idea of who the people are and what’s going on…
—————————————————————————————-
“You?â€
“You’re Merrow O’Connell?â€
“And you’re Alexander Fitzgerald? Well, well, isn’t this interesting?â€
“You can’t be Merrow O’Connell.â€
“And why can’t I?â€
“Because I’m not spending the next nine months working with you after-“
“One night of incredibly hot, uncomplicated sex? And anyway, I haven’t said I’d work with you yet. Are you always this presumptuous? Is the famous Fitzgerald name supposed to be enough to persuade me on its own? I should be on my knees in front of you about now I suppose…â€
“Are you making fun of me?â€
“Me? O-ooh, as if I’d dare…I told you on the phone I’d have to see the project before I agreed to anything.â€
“You said you had a short window in your schedule. And you won’t turn it down when you see it.â€
“You don’t know I won’t.â€
“Yes, I do, ‘cos any designer who loves what they do would be seriously turned on by a project this size.â€
“Didn’t anyone ever tell you size doesn’t matter?â€
“Well how about you try looking at it before you make your mind up? My client is very keen on your work…The Pavenham’ could be the kind of project to launch you into the big time…â€
“The Pavenham Hotel? The one that Apocalypse just bought?â€
“That’s the one. And they have deep pockets. You’d be very well paid for your work.â€
“Chamomile tea?â€
“Hell no.â€
“It might help you with all that tension.â€
“What tension?â€
“Mickey D must be giving you hell.â€
“You think I can’t handle an aging rocker like Mickey D?â€
“I think you wouldn’t have chased halfway across Dublin looking for me if he wasn’t digging his heels in. He’s famous for being a bit of a Prima Dona…I was conceived to one of his songs you know.â€
“Actually, I’m not sure I needed to know that. But I’m sure he’ll love it when you tell him.â€
“Seriously, chamomile is great stuff – and completely natural.â€
“I’m good, thanks.â€
“So what happened to your last interior designer?â€
“Which one?â€
“How many have there been?â€
“Four. Mickey D is quite particular.â€
“So I’m a last resort am I?â€
“Actually you’re the first one that he’s been determined he has to have.â€
“Mmm. I doubt I’m really the first.â€
“That kind of recruiting he can do on his own. I’m his architect, not his pimp.â€
“Seriously, there’s more tea in the flask.â€
—————————————————————————————-
This excerpt of dialogue from the first chapter of my next Presents/Modern Heat release His Mistress: His Terms shows how the dialogue reads with all the other layers removed. So do we have an idea of who the characters are? Of their personalities? Of what they do for a living? Of their relationship at the start of the book? Does it have a natural flow? Are they reacting to what the other one says? If you read it out loud would you find yourself changing the tone of your voice to suit each character?
If the answer to all those is no then I’d just like to say I’ve loved my career while I had one.
Through dialogue your characters get to know each other in the same way couples all over the world do. It doesn’t happen all at once – things are gradually revealed (otherwise it would be a pretty darn short story!). Sometimes they’ll be evasive or make witty come-backs to avoid a subject they don’t want to discuss. Their speech pattern will reflect a cornucopia of things from their education level to their social position to their location on the planet to whether they’re male or female. But basically, like everything else in the books; it all comes down to character.
A gorgeous, yummy alpha male hero in a Modern Heat is gonna have confidence to burn. Not only drop dead sexy in the looks department – ‘cos let’s be honest here, sexy is more than just eye candy, isn’t it? Smart is sexy. Confident is sexy. A sense of humour – well, it does it for me 
Put all of those things into his dialogue to add to that eye candy wrapping and you know your reader is completely gonna understand why your heroine has problems staying vertical for long – even if there’s a long list of reasons why he’s completely the wrong guy for her in so many other ways…
Is this the kind of guy who is likely to apologize much? Admit he’s wrong? Say please? Probably not. Nor is he likely to open up and have a long discussion about his feelings. Most men don’t even understand why women feel the need to do that. A Modern Heat hero is the man who thinks in straight lines – it’s the heroine who tends to knock him off track (don’t you LOVE IT when that happens?!). But regardless of what she does this guy sees what he wants and doesn’t stop till he gets it! And this will show in the way he talks.
The sassy, confident heroine in a Modern Heat is gonna be able to hold her own against this guy when it comes to dialogue. When it comes to resisting him in other ways obviously she’s gonna have problems… but hey, who can blame her? There will be times when she’s sarcastic to balance his over-confidence/arrogance. There may be times when she says one thing and contradicts it with inner POV – we women tend to do that (and are frequently amazed when we’re misunderstood because of it!) Is she likely to confess how attracted she is to the hero from the get-go? To let him know how she feels when she’s still battling with herself over the long list of things that make him the wrong guy for her? What are the chances she’ll tell a bad boy that she wants him to settle down with her and give up his playboy lifestyle? Yuh-huh. See? Now you’re with me.
Last but not least remember that contemporary feel. In a Modern Heat you may well see slang in the dialogue, pop-culture references, conversations by text or email, friends of the heroine chatting over cappuccinos while they discuss sex in a public place… It’s a reflection of modern day relationships and life. I’m not suggesting you apply to major companies for deals on product placement but we should really feel that these people are out there in the real world. They just happen to be having a romantic adventure that taps into the kind of fantasies women all over the world can appreciate.
Half their luck I say!
Trish’s last Modern Heat in Presents was Her Bedroom Surrender in May (nominated for the Booksellers Best Award as Breathless!) and His Mistress: His Terms will be released in Presents in December.
Aideen,
I think motivation is one of the things that I enjoy about writing a virgin character. As one of my strong, sassy females rationalized, it’s the confident ones who don’t feel the need to give it up just becuase they’re asked to!
But if it’s a choice I make for my characters, I always have to give them a good reason. And if it makes me more suited to the traditional Modern line, I’m all right with that. I love the Presents books, and I have noticed that there are some pretty strong heroines coming from that line these days as well, not to mention a good deal of humor.
As for twenty-year old virgins…Now here we go getting personal! But if Jilly can write about scarring incidences involving pork products I think I should be all right…I do know a few of them. In fact, nearly all of my friends, including myself, earned our white wedding dresses, if you know what I mean.
I suppose that’s why I find it so relatable. I know. I’m supposed to be in the loop here with the modern sensibilities, but I’m afraid I’m a bit of an old-fashioned girl…An old-fashioned girl who writes great love scenes, however. (see above comment, also involving pork)
All in all though, I would still think I’m probably best suited to the Presents line. I do enjoy good punches of humor, and as I said, I don’t like to see a woman who lets herself get walked on!
I think my books need to go to M&B Limbo, the land that falls between MH and MR….Modert Heat: Innocent Flame…. Um…Modern Heat: Virgin Edition….
Hey, Gang,
I have to agree with Maisey on the (cough**cough) virgin issue. It can make a strong character and I know people who have waited. And, hey, I live near the political Capital of the US, where the argument would be: How would you define (cough**cough) ‘virgin’? I think that would start a whole other conversation.
Oh, oh, now that I think about it . . . I think the heroine in Kelly Hunter’s Wife for a Week (great book, BTW) is a virgin. . . But, I know the guidelines have changed, so I don’t know what the answer would be now.
Did any of that make sense? I hope so.
Aideen, my characters kiss in the first chapter. I was going to take it out because I thought it would kill the submission, but decided to keep the story the way it is.
Take care, everyone.
Barbara
Barbara,
I think it all depends on what your definition of the word “is” is…
And I like what you said about it making a strong character, because if my character is a virgin, she has a strong motivation to be one.
I appreciate your help on the subject, Aideen.
You’re a fantastic group!
Maisey
Wouldn’t you just know it? I really should have guessed that Maisey was someone who’d by-passed the whole fumbling-and-groping-around bit. None of that, over-and-done-with-before-the-kettle-has-even-stopped-boiling business. Oh, no. For her, it’s straight into wedding-night seduction by a husband who whispers ‘eat’ and ‘drink’ and ‘wash your face’ in drooling Italian whilst proving beyond all possible doubt that a G-spot is DEFINITELY not an oversized zit. And I, for one, could live with that soundtrack. It sure beats the hell out of ‘Did you remember to switch on the video, babe, ‘cos as soon as I’m done here I’m off to watch Match Of The Day’.
But, no. I must rise above this unflattering greenness and stick to the Sisterhood Slogan. I will share with Maisey – in an act of breathtaking selflessness – a little info that may just prove useful. And we have, after all, strayed into my particular field of expertise – namely, virginity. I’ve recently read a couple of Mod Heats in which the heroines are indeed that rare breed – ‘Housekeeper At His Beck And Call’ by Susan Stephens and ‘Pregnant By The Playboy Tycoon’ by Anne Oliver (and, boy, can’t that woman write a sex-scene!). I don’t know if they’re available where you are (but we ARE talking Maisey so I doubt very much that they’d have the nerve not to be) but if you can get a hold of a copy they may just help out with your predicament. Sorry, I had a rush of blood there for a moment – Maisey doesn’t DO predicaments, obviously.
And Barbara, whilst we’re still on this subject, you’ve got me a little confused. These coughing virgins. Is this some kind of a medical condition, peculiar only to the States? Or is it purely a social thing so the guys know up-front precisely what’s coming – so-to-speak – before they actually get started? I’d appreciate some clarification here. And how’s the Slovakian situation? Have you bought the torch? Are the ladders in place? Just please don’t you dare to come back on this blog and say they’ve gone home without even a peak.That might just be grounds for excommunication.
And Robyn and Aideen, what can I say? I think I’m in love with you guys – in the spiritual sense, naturally. Can you raise a petition and get it to Richmond? If only, people, if only ……
Yet another layer of onion-skin bites the dust. Aideen’s now writing a steaming-hot sex-scene which may or may not include the use of a strait-jacket. To echo Captain Oates as he left the tent to face the icy wastes of Antartica, she may be gone for some time …..
And thank you, Patricia. Your consideration for my currently-colourful state is both welcome and refreshing – are you paying attention here, Maisey?
Take care and take heart,
Jilly
Jilly,
With my head hanging down, I am sorry to say that I did not get to meet any Slovakians.
Can’t climb any windows, here. I have to be able to live here, remember?
Thanks for mentioning the two books, though. I will have to read Anne Oliver’s next.
Barbara
Jilly,
If it makes you feel better, I have two children in diapers. So while my nights might be filled with quality time with The Master of the Blended Orgasm, my days are spent up to my elbows in dishwater and on my knees changing nappies.
And thank you for the book titles, I will head over to eharlequin and see about locating them. And if they aren’t there perhaps I could find my old magic wand laying around somewhere…
Only joking, if I had one of those, my newest book would be finshed by now…
Maisey
See what I mean? Does she HAVE to keep rubbing it in? Well, maybe she does and maybe I should try it – is that where I’ve been going wrong all these years?
And just what IS a ‘Blended Orgasm’, for heaven’s sake? Does it involve some kind of a food-mixer maneouvre? It all sounds a little bit risky to me but please, just indulge me a little here, guys. I have, as you know, led a quiet and sheltered existence.
I might just forgive you, Barbara, if you can enlighten me on this whole Blended ‘O’ subject. Just a few minor details like how and where and how does it rate with the Multiple. I’m sure after that the active imagination that Aideen seems convinced I possess can easily fill in the rest.
Looks like this could be an interesting night …..
Jilly
Oh my, but we are getting racy around here! I’m blushing just reading all of these posts…even my own…
To answer the question of how it rates compared to the multiples, Jilly, how can you compare chocolate cake to chocolate truffles and decide which is better? I’m happy with either one.
I should send you my Cosmo magazine detailing the process of the blended ‘O’. Even my husband had to do his reading to learn it! Of course, acheiving it requires basic knowledge of female hotspots, including the one bearing the letter ‘G’.
Jilly, I must confess that I am totally envious of your wit and humor. If it weren’t for you, I never could have written my inspired love scene of a few posts earlier involving pork scratchings. See, you’re inspirational! And I could use some inspiration for the moment as I seem to have stalled a bit on my writing…I’m still doing it every day…just slowly…
Hark! I hear crying children! The joys of sibling rivalry, and one can’t even talk yet!
Maisey
Maisey,
I have a 2-1/2-year old in pre-school for speech issues, but he knows how to say “mine” without any problems. He won’t say “Mommy,” he calls me “Beh”, but he has “mine” down pat!
Barbara
OMG, how could I have missed this thread for so long! I hope all of you get published, because if you write your Modern Heats anything like you write your posts I for one will DEFINITELY want to read them. You all have strong, sassy, and very very funny voices!
Re virginal heroines- I don’t see why not, as long as the reason is convincing. Maybe she had strong reasons to wait for the right man, maybe it was powerful circumstances. I am quite possibly older than all of you, but I waited ’til I was 24 then had an absolutely disastrous first sexual experience. I love to write virginal heroines who then get to have mind-blowingingly fabulous sex, because I’m writing what I wish I’d had at the time. Luckily my wonderful dh is one of those rare men who does truly understand foreplay, but I had to wait until I was 41 to meet him. Sounds soppy, but if I can give my heroines first nights anything like my first night with him it makes pretty good reading! My Instant Seduction entry heroine was a virgin because she had a super-overprotective father, but once she met the hero she was ready to change that- unfortunately he had moral qualms about taking her virginity. Anyway, the story was crap and needs a total top to bottom rewrite, but I did love the scenes where the heroine is trying hard to seduce the hero and he is resisting her rather than compromise his moral values. It can be easier to write heroines who have had maybe one or two less than fulfuilling sexual experiences, and it seems often her previous experience or lack of isn’t even mentioned. But there is something very special about the virgin heroine. I read an interesting discussion about virgin heroes, but that’s another thing altogether.
Patricia- I am so so pleased to hear you have had your story published! Yippee!
Fingers crosed for all of us! Isn’t that the wonderful thing about romance writing- we don’t have to be competitive because this world is big enough for all of us, we can all succeed without it taking anything away from anyone else. So good luck to all of you!
Mulberry-Thanks for the congrats. It’s wonderful finally seeing you hard work in print. Writing is the fun part, but the business side is a new experience. Trying to work hard to figure it all out. I must get back to work now, but I’ll be lurking.
Patricia
Ladies,
Finally popping in to say I did it!!!
And by that I mean I penned a love scene so smoking hot that I almost brought the house down. Seriously, although of course the fire in the attic had absolutely nothing to do with my nimble fingers or the keyboard they are currently and constantly attached to.
I was so happy last night, H&h broke all of their own rules in a glorious vertical position and were just coming back to earth when my husband calmly approached the shed half door. I write in a garden shed by the way. Anyway, he pushed the top half back and said, very calmly ‘I’ve woken the four boys but I can’t find their dressing gowns’, to which I replied ‘why did you wake the boys? Its past midnight!’, and then he said, still very calmly, ‘well because the attic is on fire and the smoke is about to travel south’.
Ok then. No panic here, doesn’t happen in major crisis time. I only panic when I lose keys, run ten minutes late or forget to feed the kiddies. Anyway, long story short, roof must come off house and we can’t live there for at least a month. I’m at my sister’s tonight and it’s lovely and cosy but I want my own home. I’m typing this in her kitchen, I want my garden shed.
Everyone is in perfect health, what we lost in the upper part of the house wasn’t important at all and I’m delighted with my latest love scene which incidentally did not involve a straight jacket.
Forgot to mention that it was my 7 year old son who discovered the smoke beginning to seep through the attic door. He told us he was dreaming about his nana and in the dream she told him to wake up. When he told us about this I got shivers up my spine. My husband’s mother passed away suddenly 7 years ago when this little boy was just a newborn and he has never once dreamed of her. He doesn’t even remember her, only recognising her from photos. My dh was heartbroken all day thinking of what could have been. But not me, I forced him to take my opinion and what else could that be only that we are the 6 luckiest son’s of ……..in County Cork today.
All the best ladies, talk soon,
Aideen.
Aideen,
So sorry to hear about your house! I’m only glad your whole family is safe and sound!
Barbara, my own two and a half year old can speak when he feels like it. He calls me mommy, but for some reason, I’m assuming he picked this up from his daddy, half the time he calls me Maisey, or even honey.
Mulberry, I agree that there’s something special about writing that all important first time although, and Jilly, this should make you feel better, in my experience the first time doesn’t conclude with an orgasm so much as “Holy Crap that hurt!” But, I believe in the fantasy element, and my girls always get amazing first times.
On a side note, this is probably my own pet peeve and morbid curiostities at work, but I don’t like it when I don’t get some idea of the heroine’s sexual past. I mean, we all know that the hero is a ruthless, skilled womanizing machine who churns out satisfying sex with various different women as though he’s a factory worker and they’re laid out on the conveyer belt. But I want to know who the woman is. If she’s a virgin, then why? If she’s been with one man, why him? How was it? If she’s been with the whole rugby team, why? And how does this new, amazing, dashing hero guy rate compared to the others who have either tried and failed of tried and succeeded?
I think maybe I’m just sex obsessed. Or very nosy. But I always try to include a lot of what makes my characters them, so that you understand where they’ve come from, and as a result, where they are now.
Oh, my, must go. My afore mentioned oldest son wants more salad dressing on his peanut butter sandwhich…I don’t know why…I think he gets his imagination from his mother!
Maisey
Hi Aideen,
I thought you were just kidding about the attic being on fire! You know, steamy turns to fiery, flame becomes inferno uh, imagination becomes reality. Hmmn, if that happens it’s supposed to be directly related to what you’re putting on the page.
So glad you’re all okay and that ‘what you lost in that part of the house wasn’t important.’ I love how calm your husband was through it all. He sounds like mine in a crisis.
I think you need to send a resounding thanks to your husband’s mother. Perhaps she usually drops by to read over your shoulder as you type? Just kidding.
Robyn
I know I mentioned a blog born from ashes but honestly, Aideen, I didn’t expect you to take it THAT literally! Thank God you’re okay – all of you. And if you could possibly E-mail that love-scene. I’ve always been interested in spontaneous combustion ……
Maisey, chocolate cake or truffles? And you’re quite happy with either one? Do you see what I’m saying? Are you getting me, here? Some of us mere mortals are stuck with the caramel and a mingy old slice of stale battenburg. And it’s way too late for all of this crawling. My condition has taken a worrying turn. Not only am I now a particularly puke-worthy shade of bilious green but all of my tops have started to split if I show the least sign of getting angry. I refer you to Mulberry, who has belatedly stumbled across this blog and with whom I already feel a connection. I’m sure, like me, she bears the scars of the torture that is the pork scatching.
Oh well, gotta fly. I’ve suddenly acquired a shedload of sewing…..
Jilly
Aideen,
Gosh, I am so glad you and your family are OK. Let us know if there is something we can do to help.
Barbara
Jilly,
Occasionally I’m quite happy to have both in one night…I find that too much of a good thing simply doesn’t exist…and I’m talking about chocolate of course!
Maisey
Hi all,
Barbara, help all the way from Virginia, thank you so very much. Just reading all of your good thoughts for me is huge help because it reinforces the point about the romance writing community don’t you think? I’ve never met such a warm and fine bunch of women in one place I can tell you.
Everything is grand, staying at my sister’s house for the moment but swinging by a friend’s for the weekend so the boys are all excited about this big adventure. House will be rewired next week so I’m confident after that that things will progress nicely p.g.
Roby, I sincerely hope the wonderful lady up above never appears over my shoulder as I write because in all honesty when alive she would have made my mother appear to be only half catholic!! Reading a Modern Heat??? I shudder to think what she would have thought of these books.
I know it wasn’t meant literally Jilly but I like to do things differently!!!
And thanks for the concern Maisey, it would appear you’re settling in rather well here.
So, any gal missing a few finger nails as crunch time crawls closer???
Anyone suddenly supporting a receding hair line?
Aideen.
Aideen,
I’m so glad to hear that everything is moving along. Hopefully you’ll all be back home soon. I’ve got my whole family saying prayers for you over here.
As for the fingernails, they’re completely gone. Bloody stumps. Which is unfortunate because I’m the type who needs the extra protection (I’m a little on the clumsy side. Which is sort of like saying Anarctica is a little cold) Now when I slice the top of my finger with a knife, or shut it in the door, or just catch it on the sharp lip of a formula can, what’s going to keep me from taking the whole thing off!? And then how will I write? But, no panic going on over here. Certainly not. Where did I put my antacids…?
No receding hairline, but I may be going prematurely gray from all this waiting. Not only am I waiting for contest results, I’m waiting for a responce on my partial.
Checking my snail mail and checking my email is becoming a compulsive habit, and I nearly wretch and die from suspence every time…Only to discover a cresit card offer or an ediets newsletter (Why did I sign up for those? Maybe I thought reading them would make me get thinner?)
Ah well…Just a few more days right? I’ll buy and pint of ice-cream, either for celebration or for comfort eating, in anticipation for the big event.
Good luck again!
Maisey
Hi Everyone,
I really was kidding about your mother-in-law reading over your shoulder Aideen, and trust me mine would’ve been equally horrified (not that I would’ve been likely to admit that hey, you know those books with the red covers and the hot couples on the front… guess what I’ve decided to write?)
Well, it’s 5.50am and I must finish polishing a chapter for my crit group before the entire house wakes up.
Robyn
Did someone just mention fingernails? Can you please remind me what they are? It’s been so long since I’ve seen them, I’m struggling to remember what they looked like. Thank goodness the receding hairline’s not a problem. I knew these two hats would prove useful one day.
Don’t know about you guys, but I’m really not sure how much more of this tension I can take. Wondering how far they’ve got with the judging. If they’re on the verge of making THE decision. I’m even having nightmares in which Simon Cowell bursts through the door looking vividly green and manically crushing a violet. Do you think there’s a message there somewhere? Is someone telling me to go back to my nice friendly nurse who will scoop me up in his strong powerful arms, drip-feed me truffles and liquidised chocolate-cake whilst explaining the art of the Blended Orgasm in fluent Slovakian with a hint of Italian?
You see? No escape. Even my fantasies are no longer a Maisey-free zone. Is nothing sacred around here?
Jilly
Is this the place for fantasies so then???
Am I allowed to say that I find Simon Cowell fiercely attractive? No?
Oh well then I won’t say it.
Aideen, who at the moment is eating vanilla ice cream topped with 2 full size melted mars bars and is NOT thinking about Simon Cowell.
Aideen, when they talk about sex scenes that set the house on fire, it wasn’t meant to be quite that literal- what the hell were your H & h up to? No seriously, thank God everyone was alright, and a double thank God for your MiL for taking care of things. And you never know, she may just have a twinkle in her eye reading over your shoulder- your husband was conceived somehow and I certainly hope it wasn’t all “lie back and think of Ireland/England/Australia/Uncle Sam” back in the bad old days.
All this talk of fingernails makes me glad I didn’t enter this time! I’m inclining towards thginking I’m a bit too old for all this sass and I’m secretly a Tender Roamce kind of girl. But I will eat my rather extensive hat collection if you aren’t all accepted for publication within the next few years!
Jilly- sadly one or two too many regrettable pork-crackling moments, making me wish I had stayed virginal until the ripe old age of 39 when I met my mostly champagne truffle dh (who has been known to have his pork crackling moments occasionally too, but not too often). Slovakian hero, interesting…I have an rather nice Armenian hero I’m not doing much with at the moment, will he do?
I have a feeling that Jilly might be secretly laughing at us as she sits in the drawing room of her elegant Victorian era mansion. (So good for inspiration!)
I can picture her now, feeding us lines about pork scratchings and envy while she sips champagne and has her toenails painted by a half-naked Greek tycoon who sold his business to devote all of his time and attention to Jilly’s feet and otherbody parts, which he knows for certain, are not zits or any other sort of blemish.
Then of course, after tea, the Italian aristocrats come over and fan her with he two hats while she puffs on her pipe and writes inspired love scenes which cause other people’s houses to catch on fire.
I have come to this conclusion becuase I am certain that, had a man actually attempted anything funny with pork scratchings, she would have broken the bottle, containing the other half of lager, over his head and shoved him out into a snow drift.
And then I think she has a piece of chocolate cake, a box of chocolate truffles (And stays slim) then goes to work at her computer and works on her latest article for a Cosmopolitan, which explains the technique involved in the blended orgasm.
I’m on to you now!
Maisey
I think you have her well sussed! But wasn’t it three hats (I am clearly rather hat obsessed)?
Oh God no, it was only two hats mulberry because how on earth was she supposed to balance the third on top of her existing two??!!!
Does anyone feel guilty that Robyn is up at the crack of dawn polishing chapters? Although I suspect if I lived in a country where sunshine was the norm I might actually rise early too.
Maisey, I rather like the image you’ve painted of our Jilly and I’m going to concur. What other body parts would you be referring to I wonder….
All this talk of foreign men is inspiring but I feel I must remind you all that the Irish rogue can tangle with the best of them.
On a more serious note, thanks so much for the prayers and thoughts coming my way. It’s fabulous to have cyber buddies!!
Aideen.
I feel very guilty. Sun is shining here and yet I was not up until nine, and I haven’t been near my laptop. My excuse, of course, being that I have a two year old and nine month old to care for and am waiting for my gorgeous, diaper-changing hubby to come home (Sorry, Jilly, I can’t stop myself!)
I’m having execution issues with my current book. Very sad. I think it has the potential for greatness, so far it’s sorta “eh.”
Maisey
I leave for awhile and look what happens. Everyone goes C-R-A-Z-Y. Oh, no, that’s just ME going crazy.
Someone asked about fingernails — forget it. My sanity is gone. Ask my husband and poor son who I forgot to pick up from school today.
Maisey, love your assessment of Jilly.
Aideen, Irishman Kevin McKidd gets my vote. So does Joe Flanigan, but I think only his name is Irish . . .
Take care and safe this weekend guys.
Barbara
Sunshine….what’s that now?
Ooh you are so right about the Irish rogue- any of Trish Wylie’s marvellous heroes, and of course shortly to be joining them your own!
How silly of me about the hat- it was the aunt (who I suspect may have been what was known in the bad old days as a “woman oriented woman”?) who wore three, wasn’t it.
Sorta eh…love that description. I am currently trying to rescusitate a seriously dead story whose characters just won’t leave me alone!
If I could just keep my characters fighting or in bed at all times it would be fantastic, they have great fights and great sex. I guess it’s the interim stuff thats got me.
I don’t want him to be a jerk the whole time, but he’s a little angry with her right now and she, being the upstanding girl that she is, isn’t going to just take his crap!
So I’m working on finding a balance between them so that they can have some peace, so that we can understand why they would love each other, and keeping up the tension so that we all remember, hey, they have unresolved issues!
And I have a secondary character in the mix who is integral to the story (He’s the cause of moset of the trouble, and really, the reason the H and h met) But I sort of need him seen and not heard a little more than he is…
Guys,
What are we going to do when the contest is over? I want us to keep in touch.
Barbara
I can sympathise mulberry. I have characters in my head who think it’s perfectly ok to jump out at me when I’m least expecting it. And they always choose very inopportune moments.
Today for instance, waiting for son 2 while trying to keep son’s 3 & 4 happy somebody spoke to me. No, actually he yelled at me. An alpha I had been having some trouble with suddenly informed me that the first time he delivers a mind blowing orgasm to the lucky heroine is not at all how I had written it. He told me step by step how he would reduce her to a puddle at his feet and I didn’t even have access to a clear mind, what with kids everywhere, let alone a flipping notepad and pen!
Honestly, someone needs to get a grip and I think that someone might just be me. Anyone else suffer from this form of madness? I swear I can literally hear these people talking to me.
Aideen.
Speaking of that madness, Jodie Foster’s character in Nim’s Island portrays it well.
The man won’t leave her alone!
Oooh, I’m all for keeping em in bed or fighting for the whole book, but sadly Maisey I ain’t an editor for M&B…
I love the flare of a temper, those volcanic eruptions that suddenly get me so hot and bothered I forget what they’re fighting about. But then in the after glow of some serious lovin’ I’m reminded once more of the conflict. Gotta love that part.
Barbara, of course we’re all going to stay in touch, it’s just not possible to imagine being here without each other. And someone wonderfully technological is going to take that first step and initiate our wonderful ‘Feel the Heat’ blog….anyone???
Aideen.
Please, let’s not get into Nim’s Island because then I’ll be forced to spend time thinking about Gerry Butler. And then I’ll drown in my own saliva and won’t be able to post anything here.
Aideen.
I can start it. I just need to know the title. . . .
Gotta go. Won’t be back on until later tonight.
Barbara
Barbara,
You MIGHTY MIGHTY woman. I just knew you were bursting to get the ball rolling. I’ll be back tomorrow with my lack of knowledge on titles. Until then, sleep well girlies.
Aideen.
The Housewive’s Blog of Convenience
The English/American/Irish/Australian Writer’s Blog Seduction
The Blogger’s Demand
Or we could go with what the proffessional suggested and I’ll go back to my padded cell.
I have the straight jacket, you have the padded cell…interesting.
Aideen.
Hey, if it’s Gerard Butler monopolising your thoughts then surely that’s understandable? (I personally thought this was normal) Doesn’t everyone have this problem? No? Just me? Oh, of course, Jilly’s busy with her raft of foreign men scheduled to appear at certain times to perform their designated functions (in a Victorian mansion, no less.) Aideen’s busy with a sexy alpha voicing step by step instructions, not to mention Simon Cowell. Maisey’s busy deciding between cake and truffles with the master of the blended O, Mulberry’s got a hot Armenian on her mind and Barbara’s living next door to five, count them, Slovakians. Ah, no wonder I’m the only one polishing a chapter at the crack of dawn.
Can anyone tell I’ve given up on that for now? Hmmn, must go converse with Gerard Butler while I make the kids breakfast.
Robyn
PS Anyone else notice that none of us have female children?
Sorry Aideen, Gerard Butler visits you too? I wandered off there for a few minutes and missed a half dozen posts.
Robyn,
Hmmm…Maybe that’s because it takes a special brand of crazy to raise little boys…or maybe they make you a special brand of crazy.
And they’re very cute!
Maisey
Also, regarding the all boy thing, I hear that orgasms are conducive to the conception of boys, according to the Shettles method of sex selection. So I guess we heave very talented husbands. Which is why we’re all very talented writers.
Robyn, Aideen, Jilly, Maisey, Mulberry,
For the first step, I started a discussion group for us on google groups. All I need you to do is send me your e-mail address. Go to my blog at missionpublication.blogspot.com and leave a comment with your e-mail address. I moderate the comments so your e-mail address will remain private. Once I have your e-mail, I can send you an invite to join the group.
Aideen, I already sent you an invite because I have your e-mail address.
If I forgot someone, please feel free to send a comment to my blog.
Look forward to hearing from everyone!
Barbara
Robyn,
Very good point there about all of us having a brood of boys between us. Being the youngest of six girls I was more than happy to have four wonderful boys because my childhood was spent witnessing all sorts of violence over clothes, cosmetics, shoes and so on…. I remember padlocks on wardrobes, nail files being used in self defense, tufts of hair sailing across bedrooms, the list is endless really.
The boys settle their disagreements with one good slug and all is forgotten. They’re back to being buddies within minutes whereas my sisters held grudges that lasted for months, literally. My poor mother has been playing referee for the past 4 decades.
Maisey, how about Seduction and Orgasms (blended or otherwise) Guaranteed???? or Lead Us Not Into Temptation….We Can Find It Ourselves.
Aideen.
Hello!!
Is there anybody out there said the traveller,
knocking on the…Sorry, I get carried away.
Where is everyone? Should I start worrying? Haven’t heard from any of you ladies in something like 45 hours. Not that I’m counting, I DO have a life you know.
The spell of good weather has been broken here, it started raining last night. Barbara, I accepted your invitation in a very hurried and giddy manner but will be popping in shortly to have a chat with you and whoever else will be lurking there.
So….have the nerves finally killed some of you off perhaps? Not long now before we discover the voice chosen to give Mod Heat a shot. Come on ladies, things aren’t that bad surely. One can now purchase acrylic nails and if indeed Jilly has ripped every stitch of clothing she owns while acting out D Banner’s alter ego she can just buy some more. Or wander around her mansion butt naked, I’m sure her fleet of foreing slaves wouldn’t mind in the slightest.
Maisey, love the titles proposed and have a few of my own to put forward.
Seduction And Orgasms (blended or otherwise) Guaranteed.
Lead Us Not Into Temptation…We Can Find It Ourselves.
The Crazy Woman’s Blog For Modern Heat Wannabes.
Robyn, it is strange that we are all mothers to little boys. And I have to say that being the youngest of six girls I was more than happy to have four wonderful sons. I’ve witnessed violence in all it’s forms over clothes, cosmetics and shoes whilst growing up. Forks have been used in self defence, tufts of missing hair still remain visible and all the while my poor mother had to play referee on a full time basis. Not a pretty sight. My boys punch each other once and within minutes are the best of buddies again. I suspect the male species have the memory span of goldfish.
Talk soon,
Aideen.
Posted three times in the last day but none of them have appeared? What’s wrong? Have we overdone the number count or what?
Aideen.
Oh typical, that one appeared in all it’s boring glory. Had done a post I found terribly witty and clever and…nothing.
Where is everyone? Have the nerves finally started killing you ladies off? Remember, false nails can now be purchased in a variety of shades and Jilly can buy more clothes if she’s managed to shred them all while playing out D Banner’s alter ego. Come on, talk to me!!!
Or have some of you possibly received the ‘call’ to alert winning status??? Please, somebody put me out of my misery, I’m feeling very abandoned here where the sun has finally been knocked out and the rain is back even better than before.
Aideen.
Hi Aideen,
Alas no call, not here anyway.
And yours will have to be an email rather than a call I’d imagine, unless your sister lives next door and you can still hear the phone?
I’ve got your sunshine over here and during school holidays no less! Friday was 28 degrees (early spring) which doesn’t bode well for the summer since we’re already in the grip of a drought.
I’m guessing Jilly has more staff rostered on at the mansion on weekends and therefore can’t spare a moment to post. Not sure what everyone else is up to, perhaps they’re having a Gerard Butler/Jodie Foster moment with their latest heroes?
Robyn