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MADELINE: Thanks for the fairy dust and the desire to buy my future book(s) (if ever published) That’s hugely encouraging!

SUSIE: I’ll let the ed’s answer your question, ’cause I don’t know :\

CLARISA: Good luck finishing! And I find it’s best not to try switching focus too much while still working on that first draft. Sometimes my first drafts are what I think of as stage managing. I get the dialogue and setting on the page, then go back later to build up the emotion and conflict and really polish up the writing. Someone smarter than me said that writing is re-writing and I believe that.

ANNIE: Just a huge thank you!
d

I love the intensity and energy of your writing. I’m looking forward to reading more of it.

best of luck!
Annie

Good luck with your writing. I really liked your style and characters, which I think is key to being a good writer so keep going! Plus you caught an editor’s attention so that confirms you’re on the right track!

Thank you for sharing the comments that were made to you.

I found one particularly interesting as I too had a heroine who fought to have a career. I was (…..sorry…am…) aiming at the Modern Heat line so I wonder if the same comment still applies.

Good luck with the new submission

Susieq

Good work on winning yourself some feedback. I hope you can re-plan your story to include more internal tension between the hero and heroine. It’s out there, you just have to apply it realistically, i suppose!

Certainly don’t give up on something that been publicised! If any one of us on this forum pick up your book and recognise the first chapter, we’ll buy it regardless of how long it’s taken you to alter your plot.

Sending you glimmering dust from the inspiration fairy,
Madeline

CLARISA: You’ll see the critique on Thursday, I think, but one of the problems was that my climax was coming from outside events (a bus crash) rather than stemming from the relationship between the hero & heroine. I think I posted here about writing this story because I wanted to work on crafting the love story part of a romance. Apparently I still need to work on that

Another problem is that the conflict between them is partly reliant on the heroine wanting to pursue her career (doctor.) That doesn’t really work for Presents because we Presents readers are buying the books for a deeper internal conflict that is more about building trust between two people who have good reason not to believe in love. The editors, and ultimately all of us readers, want something more emotional. Mine was too external.

Finally, while I had written in the cover letter of my submission that the story might work as a Secret Baby –because my hero is looking for his father – it’s not really fulfilling that promise because again, that part is not happening between him and the heroine.

MERBET said “Could not Suzanne have made some suggestions on what changes were required in order to make it publishable?”

Like I say, she didn’t say it wasn’t publishable. She said it wouldn’t work for Presents, and in retrospect, I totally see what she means. When we go to Starbucks, we go for coffee. They also offer Jazz cds and breath mints and sandwiches, and that often rounds out our Starbucks experience, but if we walked in and asked for coffee and they handed us a jazz cd, we’d be disappointed. Sure I have caffeine in my story, but it’s not the Premium Dark Roast that Presents readers expect

OMG, I’m at the library kind of by accident and I just heard someone ask where the Writer’s Guild was meeting. Um, sorry peeps. I gotta go!!

d

Thanks for sharing about the rest of the book and the comments from the Presents editors. I didn’t actually submit my entry in the end because reading through my three-quarter completed book I suddenly realised I had a problem with the plot and conflict, which needed re-writing from the first chapter on, so no point submitting it. I guess that happens.

I’m hoping that some experienced writers come on here and tell us all that we really need to go through the experience of writing at least one book (maybe several) to “crack” the way you need to plot and handle the storyline!